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Bad Entertainer

by Lawnmaster

supported by
Joseph Kelly
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1.
Please Don't 03:52
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You were the best The best at making someone think the best is yet to come My interests Were new wave heavy metal and the paramecium A single cell can have a life as self-directed as our own What makes you think that country folk is so much better? Please don't be my friend I can't extend my heart to you Please don't keep in touch Let's just go Dutch And say we're through You had a plan Of getting out of carpeting and into real estate Do what you can I can read the tea leaves and the tea leaves don't look great Why are you picking at your food? Why aren't you summoning the beast? Why this compliant attitude? Why are you crying?
2.
Go to Auckland 03:33
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You on the stairs Lighting up a borrowed fag That's when you said "I've something to say" Down in the yard I can see a Warehouse bag I watched the wind take it away You said "Baby I have something on my mind It seems I must be cruel to be kind" You were the queen The queen of upper Cuba St High on your throne of vintage debris I never thought Thought you would admit defeat I always thought that would be me The three of us stayed up and talked til late You, me and your need to relocate Go to Auckland, I don't care Go to Auckland, I don't care Go forget this whole affair, I don't care That was the news It didn't kill me after all I don't even mind being kept in the dark Maybe I'll see See you in some shopping mall Down at St Luke's or Sylvia Park I can hear this party down the street Think I'll go and sweep them off their feet Go to Auckland, I don't care Go to Auckland, I don't care Shack up with some millionaire I don't care Go to Auckland, yeah yeah yeah With your famous savoir faire Maybe you'll be happy there And I'll care
3.
Disneyland 03:22
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4.
Bowels of Me 03:58
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I could tell that things weren't going to plan The souffle would not rise and Mother called me "You should leave that woman now while you can And you can" I was never insolent as a child At least not by the standards of my own children So I thanked her kindly for her advice I said "Thanks a fucking lot Ma" I can hear this voice in the bowels of me It says "Sit down you fool there's no one out to get you" I have worked for 15 years at the bank I suffer from a form of synaesthesia Words assume the smell of bullshit and fear So clear I can feel the grave it yawns like the mouth Of some pursuing prehistoric creature Smell of Peter Styvesant cigarettes on its breath On its breath I can hear this voice in the bowels of me It says "You're fucked go collect your superannuation" I play bass in bars with poker machines Caucasian blues and soul for baby boomers Memories of divorces fresh in their minds In their minds They don't want their precepts challenged at all By Lady Whatsername and gangsta rappers They can feel their empire crumble to sand where they stand Where they stand I can hear this voice in the bowels of me It says "Why don't you fake your death and make a fortune"
5.
Let Me Come Back to the Masons 03:42
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I am just a simple man I'm staring daily at the void I have no other plan to stay within the ranks of the employed I have fallen from my Eden I need to feel the touch of that hand On the streets of Avalon Rose petals cushion every step you take In the streets where I come from It's pigeon shit and bastards on the make It's a bloodbath In a spa pool It's a battle I intend to concede Let me come back to the Masons It's safe and it's warm I'm prepared to conform Let me come back to the Masons Open that Golden Door I recall the day when I first climbed the temple stair Turned the mob away Their fingers grasping at the air Cut out my deceiving tongue Bury my poor liver at the tide Even from the lowest rung I'll look down at the rat race satisfied You can give me back my apron I swear I'll never leave you again Let me come back to the Masons It's safe and it's warm I'm prepared to conform Let me come back to the Masons I'm here til I die All you muggles can fry Let me come back to the Masons Open that Golden Door
6.
You Said You Love Me 02:22
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You said you love me All I know is you said you love me
7.
Nobody Gets the Blues No More 04:47
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Nobody gets the blues no more Nobody gets the blues no more Nobody laughs Nobody cries Shaking the bags under their eyes Nobody gets the blues no more We are free Stardust and golden are we Lost in our dull reverie We have no reason to come down Everyone wants one more encore Nobody seems to know what for All of the kids and all of their friends Nobody here wants it to end Nobody gets the blues no more We are free Stardust and golden are we Lost in our own majesty We have no reason to come down Everyone needs their time to score But nobody wants to watch the door Can't hear the noise Can't feel the pain Don't write it down or try to explain Nobody gets the blues no more We are free Lost in our dull reverie Falling like leaves from the trees Bleeding like streams to the sea We have no reason to come down
8.
Never Give Up 02:25
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Sometimes you might think your life is over Someone strange keeps knocking at your door You're questioning the relevance of breathing When a hand comes down and helps you to the floor Never give up There is nothing in that answer Never give up There is time to make it through Never give up You are better than they think you are You can fight against this tide Just when summer turns from autumn to winter The trees must shed their leaves so they can stay When the breath you breathe is misty in the morning Winter turns into the brightest day Never give up There is nothing in that answer Never give up There is time to make it through Never give up You are better than they think you are You can fight against this tide
9.
Say You Adore Me 03:33
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Say you adore me And I will be true Say you abhor me I will break your lovely neck in two Love is much simpler than they lead you to believe Just say those words and then your relatives won't have to grieve Say you adore me I'll buy you a crown Say you abhor me I'll hire mercenaries to track you down My insecurities are somewhat overblown Just say you love me and then everybody makes it home Look all around There's people living in despair But baby that's not us We'd be so happy If you'd only find me fabulous Say you adore me I'll make you my wife Say you abhor me I'll be serving 15 years to life It's not that I don't feel your longing to be free It's more the thought of you just walking round not loving me
10.
Down the Ladders and Up the Snakes 02:37
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Put away your tiny violin Can't you tell that we're not that into you? Here's what happens in the real world We dig the holes that you get hurled into Wake up you're living in a dream It's a dream of somebody else's Down the ladders and up the snakes Down the ladders and up the snakes You've been listening to the government You've been reading all the supplements as well They don't understand the working parts I'll be glad to see their bleeding hearts in hell We gather round the dreaming spires We light the sacrificial fires Down the ladders and up the snakes Down the ladders and up the snakes Wait it out until the bad news breaks Down the ladders and up the snakes No one understands this mighty task No one knows the sacrifice they ask of you It's like the lady in my spin class said "Show them mercy and they'll cut you dead in two" We built this mighty argosy Weighed down with gold and ashes Down the ladders and up the snakes Down the ladders and up the snakes Wait it out until the bad news breaks Down the ladders and up the snakes
11.
You Can 02:47
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You'll have to go Nothing is right tonight I saw the show Over the satellite Everyone's crazy from here to Japan That doesn't phase me But you can I'll never know All of your mysteries Nothing to show For all my apologies Whisper my name I forget who I am No one remembers But you can I have this dream Tender and unresolved It's just your scene Why don't you get involved? Modern romance is a flash in the pan I see no way through it But you can
12.
Bad Entertainer 04:16
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I'm a bad entertainer I have no concern With your need for distraction Your hopes and joys I'm a twilight campaigner You're the trick I turn So buy your girlfriend a slingshot And make some noise We waste this time together We look for love where love exists We gaze across that great divide I'm a bad entertainer I should empathise With your compromise marriage And stalled career I decline to explain this You to realise We just wait for the headliner to appear We waste this time together We look for love where love exists We gaze across that great divide And all the cops they make their rounds The lights go up and then go down We will return We will return I'm a bad entertainer Touch my carapace Feel the beat of my easily broken heart Fill your chosen container Wear your poker face We play Smoke on the Water And then depart We waste this time together We look for love where love exists We gaze across that great divide

about

This is Lawnmaster's first proper album with everybody playing real instruments at the same time. Formally speaking it's slightly sardonic pop music with guitars.

credits

released November 9, 2015

Most songs were written by Ken except "Disneyland" and "You Said You Love Me" which were written by Al and "Never Give Up" which was written by Ken and Al. The arrangements are by Lawnmaster. The album was recorded by Jeremy Cullen at Marmalade and Mike Gibson at Munki. It was mixed by Jeremy and mastered by Mike.

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Lawnmaster Wellington, New Zealand

Lawnmaster are a guitar pop band from Wellington. They're not famous.

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